Even when we put our best parenting foot forward, we all have our moments where we are, well, not so shiny…. I had one this weekend.
In my personal opinion, overalls happen to be one of the cutest pieces of clothing you could put a child in, even if they are the most impractical of all items for a toddler whose bathroom habits are slightly inconsistent!
Yesterday I mustered up the energy to take A to the park where we could begin to attempt our annual holiday photo shoot. (Since I am a photographer I take holiday cards very seriously and typically we do about 5 – 6 shoots before I find all the right photos. Poor kid). This being said I dressed my darling little one in overalls and a peter pan collared long sleeve shirt with a darling sweater over for this particular segment.
Before we left the house I asked the most important question of all; “Do you have to pee pee?”.
She said no….
We arrive at the park which is less than a mile from our home but a pain in the ass nonetheless with our props and cameras ready. I begin directing my toddler and notice she is shaking her hips from side to side….. Uh Oh. This is a bad sign.
She says “Mommy! I have to pee pee!”. Naturally I ask “ Can you hold it for a few more minutes?” (First parenting strike against me) and she says “NO Mommy!!” as she continues to shift from side to side.
There are NO bathrooms at this park. None. So I did the only logical thing…. I opened the front car door and the back door and I stripped my kid in the parking lot leaving her socks and shoes on and told her to pop a squat really quick. She looked at me like I was crazy but trusted that this was totally legal and no big deal (Strike two…)
She obliged and moments later I heard sweet sound of tinkle on the pavement. Alas, my photo shoot is NOT ruined! Things were going pretty well until I realized she must of REALLY had to go as it quickly turned into the scene from a League of Their Own when Tom Hanks just can’t stop! Suddenly, I noticed the steady stream flowing neatly downstream has now shifted to RIGHT down her leg and all over her SOCK/SHOE…..
Oh shit!!! I exclaimed, not wanting her to feel bad I giggled awkwardly. (Strike 3 for mom). Panicking, I look around for my wipes or a towel or any kind of something to wipe my kid off with and I then realize I am in my husband’s car where there is nothing… My hubs and his fucking clean ass car!!
I try and teach her how to “drip dry” (thanks college!) and just when I think we are gonna be ok with just one pee pee soaked sock, her underwear fall out of my hand and into the puddle of pee. Sweet.
Mind you it’s a crisp 50 degrees outside and her tiny coolie now has a red patch on either cheek. I am thinking BOY I am a terrible parent! How did I not just DRIVE right home and let the child pee in peace!?
So we have a giggle and I call her “Pee Pee Foot” which makes her laugh and she goes commando. We live with one wet pee pee soaked sock and continue on our shoot. The show must go on right!? What a trooper my child was to endure the humiliation of a mom who lets you squat in between two car doors in the parking lot of the park.
Like I said… A whole new set of issues….. I LOVE YOU A!
*I now plan to invest in this Folding Travel Potty that allows you to let your child pee/poo in the trunk of your car in peace.