Breakfast Chatter

If you have a toddler you are most likely used to things having to be a "certain" way. For example, If you dare rip the straw off of the juice box when little sweetie wants to do it herself you are entering a world of ear piercing screams and irrational behavior. Every child is different of course but mine doesn't like her food to touch. 

Ok so this she gets from me. I have a weird thing about food touching and I don't like it when people put things on my plate without me asking. 

Poor hubs handed me a blue cheese dipped wing at a bar when we first started dating and he put it on my plate and I almost fell over. I had to explain that;

A) I loathe when people put food on my plate especially when its soaked in blue cheese and

B) I have an aversion to white dips etc. 

Don't laugh. I know that's ridiculous and I have since added Ranch dip to my list of things I like with celery and carrots but I would never dip a wing in anything but the hottest of hot sauces and I would never dip a fry in mayo or eat mayo for that matter. 

Back to crazy toddlers and there irrational likes and dislikes…

So this morning after she squealed about not wanting to go to school for 10 minutes when I woke her up, (This happens lately and by breakfast she is giddy to see her friends and teachers. I haven't been able to understand this at all) I started to make her pancakes. (Don't worry I am still my mother's daughter. They are microwaveable mini pancakes. Mothers who have to do 80 things all before they catch a bus to Manhattan don't make pancakes from scratch OR a box in the morning). 

So I hand her the pancakes on one plate and a syrup smiley face man on a second plate (yes this must be on its own plate these days) and she asks me for some sliced banana. Suddenly because I slice banana in my cereal in the morning she wants it too which is FINE by me! So I start to slice it over her plate and she says:

A: Put the banana right here. (She points to the exact spot she wants it so it has its own section. She continues on...)

You can't put the banana on top of the pancake. No, no. (and then in a sing songy voice) You know who's watching!!!!

She then belts out her rendition of "You better watch out, you better not cry.....".

So despite my hellish morning of rushing because I forgot to turn on my alarm, followed by the sobs of a child who doesn’t feel like waking up, being forced into clothes and shipped off to school, we ended our morning ritual on the best note, a happy one. 

We sang “Santa Claus is coming to Town” the whole way to school…

What not to say to a pregnant person....

I really thought I was prepared to endure the enormous task of pregnancy a second time. I have come to find as I embark on my 15^th week that I am by no means prepared. When I was pregnant the first time, I loved it. I glowed! Every pound I gained was just another step towards meeting my little one. This time I cringe every time I step on the scale knowing how many miles I will have to jog in order to lose it later. I don’t want to seem ungrateful here. I am blessed to be having a healthy pregnancy and all of that. I mean it! But, it doesn’t mean I can’t whine a little bit, plus this is a “safe place” and I vow to be honest on all fronts.

While I am on the subject and complaining about pregnancy in general I must say there are some really insensitive people out there. Some might use the word “Moron” when referring to someone who would actually say one of the idiotic lines below.  

Since there is clearly some confusion with regard to what is acceptable to say and what is not, I would like to provide some insight so that other pregnant women might be spared from the jarring comments that unnerve you in a way that make you think you might fly off the handle and come at said person with a broomstick. (Believe me I have thought about this)

Here it goes. Unacceptable words and phrases to use when speaking to a pregnant person.(Let it be known that these are ALL things that have been said to me with either baby 1 or baby 2)

• Just wait... (ex. you will never go out to dinner again, movies again, have fun again, sleep again, you get the picture)
• This only happens if you let it.
• "Let me see your ass! If its wider then it’s a girl.. YUP, definitely a girl!" - bitch!
• I actually prayed every night that this girl would get so fat when she was pregnant and she totally did! 
• “You look just like you did last time you were pregnant! A little chubby and rounder everywhere!"
• No comment
• “Are you nervous about delivering? It's gonna hurt like hell!! (from a man no less...)
• Fucking moron. Yes I know its gonna hurt? Do you think its NOT on my mind?
• Your arms don't look fat, they just look more "matronly"
• Sorry sis, that was you but I forgive you because you love me and I did have fat arms
• Do you remember how HUGE you got the first time you were pregnant?!!
• I gained 60 lbs. Do you think honestly I don't remember what it was like to go from a size 2 to a big women? I mean come on man.... Thanks for the reminder! 

Please people, you need to be increasing your sensitivity chip at this point not shrinking it.  Don't piss off a pregnant women or you will get a sty in your eye.

(My Puerto Rican Dentist told me that so it must be true!)

Lights Out!

When it snows in October it just feels wrong! All my life I understood the seasons and how they change, but I never realized that nature has the leaves falling from the trees in order to make room for the weight of the snow in the winter time. Call me crazy but I am kind of blown away by this simple fact of life!

So when the snow fell and fell and fell, we were shocked. The weather said 2 – 4 inches. To us North East folks, that’s nothing so we decided to venture North about an hour away and head to the outlets for a day of shopping and fun. The snow was falling while we shopped but when we left there was about 4 inches already sticking to the ground. When we got on the road it was beyond dangerous. Trees down, snow balls the size of my head falling on the car from the trees above and chaos on the road. It took us 2.5 hours to get home and when we walked in we were so grateful to not only be home but to still have POWER! 

We immediately started heating up food just in case power went out and the moment we took the pizza out of the oven, BOOM, lights out.

Together we scurried around the house gathering candles, flashlights and the like. Luckily we were prepared from having over prepared for the wrath of Irene a few months earlier and so we knew where everything was.

Once it got dark out we gave A her own little LED light to run around with and she immediately went to her play kitchen to cook and such for her dolls. 

Me: There goes the power!

A: Don’t worry guys, I will go turn the lights back on

Later……

Hubs and I are getting organized with candles and lights. A is playing in her kitchen and yells out

A: Guys, I got power back in my kitchen!

It’s a good thing I got a 3 for $20 pack of fleece feetie pj’s for the winter! With no heat and winter clothes stored away we would have been completely unprepared to house a 3 year old in a house with no heat.  Maybe that was worth the 2.5 hour ride home alone…. J

**I hope all who were affected by this freak storm are safe and sound. I also hope anyone without power gets it back really soon!

Drama Queen

Dinner time:

Me: A please finish your dinner and stop playing with your food. 

A: I just want to come over there and give you a quick hug! (This requires A to get out of her booster seat, come around the table for a big hug, only to need help getting back into the chair.)

Me: That is so sweet honey but I would rather you hug me after you finish your dinner.

A: But I am just gonna come over and give you a quick hug now first. (She comes on down for a big hug and then I help her back into her chair).

Me: Ok now please finish your dinner like a good girl ok? 

A: Ok but just stop being so dramatic.

You might ask yourself "How does a three year old know how to use that in the proper context?". She doesn't. After she said it I had to hide my face in a napkin while I laughed because she caught me so off guard and said it complete with hand motions and a smile. Later that night she told our bulldog Spanky to "stop being dramatic" when he wouldn't sit for a treat. 

So, we are back to being unclear about her level of genius I am afraid..... :) 

Only time will tell...

   

The Chase...

Ah, nothing like a good ol’ tantrum from a 3 year old in the middle of a crowded mall.
You might hate me but I have been pretty darn lucky in this department never having dealt with a public tantrum before this moment. One minute my darling sweetie is holding my hand and skipping along being so darn good I could squeeze her. The next minute she bolts through the department store leaving her exhausted and pregnant mom chasing her with embarrassment.
When I finally reach her I am winded and she is not. I grab her arm and scold her while all the customers look at me judging. I feel their eyes burning through my head determining what kind of a job I am doing disciplining my kid in the mall. Once I am done scolding her she proceeds to lay on the floor of the dirty carpet in macy’s and not get up. I pull her arm but she is dead weight and she is smart because she KNOWS that I cannot lift her. Or shouldn’t…..
After about 30 seconds of tugging and pleading with her I fly off the handle. Mighty mom takes over and I literally throw the child over my shoulder pregnant and all and carry her cackling with laughter out the store. When we reach the exit I am about to cry (hormones). I put her down and am steaming with anger. I scold her again and the pointer finger is out. I tell her “ You don’t even know what a spanking is and mommy doesn’t believe in them but you are headed in that direction my friend. You are gonna get a spanking if you don’t watch out.”
I never imagined these words coming out of my mouth. My mom spanked me once and I remember it like it was yesterday! (I was about 4). Instead I got dial soap on my toothbrush and scraped on the bottom of my teeth. That sucked but it worked! Now that is probably frowned upon these days too… I don’t know because I have never gotten to this point with my child before!
We get in the car and the whole way home she keeps asking me if she is gonna get a spanking. I keep wondering if she knows what that is?
Later at dinner, before I even had the chance to tell hubs the story she says “Daddy, I am gonna get a spanking.”
Do you think she is off at school telling her friends/teachers that she is gonna get spanked! I am not entirely sure how to handle this though a week later she did ask me what it was and I explained it to her delicately. I told her mommy doesn’t believe in that but that she really upset me and I hope she never gets to that point again because…. Santa is watching.
GOOD OL’ SANTA! Bringing him out early. This seems to have worked because 2 weeks later she hasn’t mentioned it again. Let’s see if it lasts.
Here is a personal favorite of mine from YouTube of an adorable toddler teaching others how to throw a proper tantrum.

Great Quote....

Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything. - Aaron Siskind www.thinkexsist.com

I just love this quote. Never stop taking photos even if you think you suck. One of my most fond memories of being a kid was sorting through boxes and boxes of photos my mom took of me growing up. I would look at my baby photos for hours! It always made me feel so loved. So keep clicking everyone! And if you want a professional in the tri-state area check out my website
www.AudreyBlakePhotography.com

Classroom Birthdays!

Do you remember when your birthday fell on a school day? Oh how exciting it was knowing you were going to serve your friends cupcakes and perhaps give out goodie bags too!

Some kids came to school with hand painted and elaborate cupcakes hand made in the wee hours of the night by their doting mothers. Others came with ornately decorated cookies from scratch! As I devoured these delicious cupcakes I would visualize their mom's covered in flour and sweat smiling while they mixed and baked for their precious darlings.

My mother was a little more unorthodox. She took me to Entenmman's bakery to buy 6 boxes of assorted cupcakes (vanilla, strawberry and chocolate iced vanilla cupcakes which they sadly no longer make). We then would go home and place each cupcake on a plate from home and wrap them in foil so they "looked" homemade. Since they were delicious I didn't mind, I was just grateful she had the good sense to make it looked like she was just like all the other moms.

Most of what I know about parenting I have learned from having been a kid and having the two parents I was given (obviously right?). If the Entenmman's bakery still sold those cupcakes I would probably go that route too but I do the in-between and buy the good ol' Betty Crocker mix and go to town. Don't worry Mom, I don't judge you for buying boxed cupcakes. I turned out alright ;)

Well evidently A was so excited about her birthday while at school that she didn't nap a wink. I came and hubs surprised her too and we brought cupcakes for all the little pre-k class who will do anything for sweets of ANY kind. We decided to take our 3 year old Miniature Golfing after that since it was 80 degrees and October. She did as well as could be expected (running after the balls we shot and placing them into the hole's for us).

Happy Birthday to my baby girl. I just can't believe you are 3! The past 3 years have been challenging, rewarding and overall a TON of fun. Thank you for being YOU.