What not to say to a pregnant person....

I really thought I was prepared to endure the enormous task of pregnancy a second time. I have come to find as I embark on my 15^th week that I am by no means prepared. When I was pregnant the first time, I loved it. I glowed! Every pound I gained was just another step towards meeting my little one. This time I cringe every time I step on the scale knowing how many miles I will have to jog in order to lose it later. I don’t want to seem ungrateful here. I am blessed to be having a healthy pregnancy and all of that. I mean it! But, it doesn’t mean I can’t whine a little bit, plus this is a “safe place” and I vow to be honest on all fronts.

While I am on the subject and complaining about pregnancy in general I must say there are some really insensitive people out there. Some might use the word “Moron” when referring to someone who would actually say one of the idiotic lines below.  

Since there is clearly some confusion with regard to what is acceptable to say and what is not, I would like to provide some insight so that other pregnant women might be spared from the jarring comments that unnerve you in a way that make you think you might fly off the handle and come at said person with a broomstick. (Believe me I have thought about this)

Here it goes. Unacceptable words and phrases to use when speaking to a pregnant person.(Let it be known that these are ALL things that have been said to me with either baby 1 or baby 2)

• Just wait... (ex. you will never go out to dinner again, movies again, have fun again, sleep again, you get the picture)
• This only happens if you let it.
• "Let me see your ass! If its wider then it’s a girl.. YUP, definitely a girl!" - bitch!
• I actually prayed every night that this girl would get so fat when she was pregnant and she totally did! 
• “You look just like you did last time you were pregnant! A little chubby and rounder everywhere!"
• No comment
• “Are you nervous about delivering? It's gonna hurt like hell!! (from a man no less...)
• Fucking moron. Yes I know its gonna hurt? Do you think its NOT on my mind?
• Your arms don't look fat, they just look more "matronly"
• Sorry sis, that was you but I forgive you because you love me and I did have fat arms
• Do you remember how HUGE you got the first time you were pregnant?!!
• I gained 60 lbs. Do you think honestly I don't remember what it was like to go from a size 2 to a big women? I mean come on man.... Thanks for the reminder! 

Please people, you need to be increasing your sensitivity chip at this point not shrinking it.  Don't piss off a pregnant women or you will get a sty in your eye.

(My Puerto Rican Dentist told me that so it must be true!)